A memory from last Sept., with a particular image, a story with details, evoked deep grief and pain in me for months. Whenever I engaged in that memory, I’d go right back to those autumn moments. Welling up with tears, my mind raced, reiterating the what-ifs and if-onlys, over and over until I felt like shit. This image came up mostly at night, or when I returned from out of town.
Each time that memory would stimulate the same predictable cycle. But then one night, the image flashed and I threw the bedding off, jumped out of bed, and said “No! No, more!” I got a drink of water and looked out at the darkened mountains. I knew it was time to release this. Repeatedly saying past, past, past, past, past , past….(meaning these thoughts are past), while moving my body (your body gets fixed in a position which holds the pain), I walked around outside. “That was then, this is now. That is the past, past, past, past…and this is now.” Gazing at the stars, I felt present. This was the last time that memory grabbed me and took me down. I interrupted the cycle with a fierce determination.
How do I know that I released this instead of blocking it, denying it, or stuffing it away? Now, I can talk about it without reactivity and pain. I feel open, reflective, at peace with it. I accept my little dog’s unexpected and sudden death. NO more re-stimulating that entire painful last night in emergency. No more recycling it. It’s released. I knew I was ready to love a new furry friend. And here he is!
Think about where you get stuck in repetitious memory and feeling states. Imagine how free you would feel inside your body and your mind if you were no longer carrying painful memories! Anyone can learn how to Break Free! Come talk with me.