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Divorce Prevention

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I have a specific and unique way of working with couples to prevent divorce. Find out more about my quick approach to loosening the grip of pain and anger, by diffusing the blame. This is where couples get stuck. I have streamlined and can get to the core (what’s underneath) generally in the first hour.  What I am doing works 100% of the time, when people work it.   Both partners have to be open to learning and willing to practice the tools I offer or assign.  If one partner lags or resists, that’s ok as long as s/he can come around to opening and opting fully back in.

I recently had a couple from Norway who had filled out their divorce papers. The wife had returned to her hometown in Oregon, and her X-husband later arrived with trunks of her belongings.  She called me.   After talking for 3 hours with both of them online, they were back in their marriage.

The thing is that how well any of your relationships go stems from how good you are with yourself.  You with you: that’s your primary relationship.  Couples counseling is mostly ineffective. The analysis and regurgitating keeps the pots stirred. Understanding is only a booby prize. It does little to change unconscious patterns.   I cannot tell you how many couples have told me that they felt worse after leaving a couples therapy session.  The feedback I get is how wonderful it is to feel hopeful and inspired at the end of the first session.

If you know or hear of couples who are struggling or in trouble, direct them to this webinar replay.  No cost: tips, tools, and inspiration.

Click Here Today!

 

Morgan SontagDivorce Prevention
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Couples Counseling falls short! Start Fresh next Year!

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If you are frustrated but want to prevent divorce, how about a fresh start in your relationship? Schedule a quick complimentary chat.  Click here to find a spot before 2018. https://my.timetrade.com/book/YF59C

Couples are receiving quick inspiration and hope in one session.  It’s not too late to save your marriage or partnership.  Divorce CAN be prevented entirely.  You need a commitment to learn and apply new skills, mind-sets, and practices.  You will continue to go nowhere by doing what you always do.

Give yourselves the gift of relationship education.  Stop reading articles.  Dragging yourselves though couples counseling is not working.  It’s time to do something radically different in the new year.  Stop arguing altogether.  Eliminate blame and criticism.  Grow together and create deeper connection and intimacy.

Divorce is expensive financially and emotionally.  You can both  prevent this.  Your strong desire to change and the commitment to go for it is all that’s needed to begin. What are you waiting for? It will NOT get better on its own.  Take action today!

Schedule a complimentary chat to find out more.

Virtual appointments are often preferred.  You do not need to live in Seattle (or come in person) to do this work!

https://my.timetrade.com/book/YF59C

Morgan SontagCouples Counseling falls short! Start Fresh next Year!
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Give Your Unhappy Relationship a Gift!

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Is your relationship in trouble? Struggling? Are you angry and unhappy this holiday season? Where’s the love, laughter, and Fa-la-la-la-la? Do you yearn for closeness and connection with your spouse? Consider learning new skills designed to uplevel, revamp, and return harmony and fun!

If you wish to have a better experience in your marriage or partnership, you must learn new information and skills.  Without this, you will continue to default to your old habits, beliefs, and routines. Nothing can ultimately change. Burying issues or arguing about the same old complaints keeps you stuck. The only option is to get help!

What kind of help? You have tried many approaches. Relationship coaching is not talk therapy. It is therapeutic, educational, collaborative, inspiring, and often fun.

There are 3 key programs of time and education available this holiday season. Each are formulated to address your specific needs and issues. Consider giving yourselves the best gift ever. Choose to prioritize your relationship. You could have the best holiday season and new year possible!

1-  Couples Foundation: Don’t repeat past unsuccessful relationship experiences.  You have a strong desire to do things differently. You want This One to make it! Co-create a loving foundation of respect, clear communication and harmony.

2-  Couples Rehab: Revive, renew, and enliven your stale habits. Rekindle intimacy and have WAY more fun!

3-  The Couples Intensive: A Divorce Prevention Overhaul: Should you stay or go? It’s bad and feels hopeless. Nothing is changing and nothing has helped. You can change it all with support, a clear path and skills. Invest in your relationship this holiday. You both deserve it!

These programs transform your entire lives. What you learn continues to develop and expand into perpetuity. This is an incredibly valuable gift. Wrapped packages pale in comparison!

All of these programs can be done virtually, so no need to live in Seattle.

To find out more, schedule a 20-30 minute chat.

Click Here Today!

Morgan SontagGive Your Unhappy Relationship a Gift!
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Relationship problems?

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The holidays are around the corner! Would you like to enjoy them?

Get help with a mini Relationship Tune-up and clear those issues swept under the carpet.  Re-connect ASAP!   Withheld communications and unresolved issues take a toll on your HO HO HO!  Get the expert help you deserve! Release your holiday spirit, so you can have some genuine fun this season.

Good through Dec. 20.

3, 1.5 hour sessions to break you free and rekindle your love!

$525.

Schedule a complimentary 30 minute chat.  We will then schedule your tune-up dates.

All sessions are virtual through Zoom; super convenient for this busy time of year.

PLUS, you don’t have to live in Seattle to work with me!

Book your slots, and look forward to the holidays!

Click here to schedule today!

 

Morgan SontagRelationship problems?
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Release Grief and Pain from Memory

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A memory from last Sept., with a particular image, a story with details, evoked deep grief and pain in me for months.  Whenever I engaged in that memory, I’d go right back to those autumn moments. Welling up with tears, my mind raced, reiterating the what-ifs and if-onlys, over and over until I felt like shit.  This image came up mostly at night, or when I returned from out of town.

Each time that memory would stimulate the same predictable cycle.  But then one night, the image flashed and I threw the bedding off, jumped out of bed, and said “No! No, more!” I got a drink of water and looked out at the darkened mountains. I knew it was time to release this. Repeatedly saying past, past, past, past, past , past….(meaning these thoughts are past), while moving my body (your body gets fixed in a position which holds the pain),  I walked around outside.  “That was then, this is now. That is the past, past, past, past…and this is now.”  Gazing at the stars, I felt present. This was the last time that memory grabbed me and took me down.  I interrupted the cycle with a fierce determination.

How do I know that I released this instead of blocking it, denying it, or stuffing it away?  Now, I can talk about it without reactivity and pain. I feel open, reflective, at peace with it.   I accept my little dog’s unexpected and sudden death.  NO more re-stimulating that entire painful last night in emergency.   No more recycling it. It’s released. I knew I was ready to love a new furry friend.  And here he is!

 

Think about where you get stuck in repetitious memory and feeling states.  Imagine how free you would feel inside your body and your mind if you were no longer carrying painful memories! Anyone can learn how to Break Free!  Come talk with me.

Morgan SontagRelease Grief and Pain from Memory
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Couples Trouble? Stop Blame!

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The biggest behavior causing trouble for couples is blame. In any unresolved issue it is highly likely that blame is playing a major part. Yelling, lecturing, repeating your position endlessly, proving your points, seething silently, placating or rolling over, withdrawing, and fantasizing about your departure, all contribute.  But the number one habit eroding your relationship is likely blame. Can you even stop blame for an hour?  Try it and see where your mind goes.   Nothing will ever change when blame is dominant.   Wishing and hoping it will go away will not bring results.

Constantly focusing your attention on your spouse won’t work.  What he or she is or isn’t doing which supposedly causes your lack of fulfillment and happiness is sinks you both.  At best you can settle until you get sick and die, or end it and leave for good.

A better option might be to get some solid help!  Couples who stop procrastinating, threatening, or pretending the issues will go away, take action. To stop blame takes commitment, awareness, and a guide to support you.   You need new tools and skills, plus the pathway.

Replace blame, hurt, and anger with respectful, blame-free communication.  Learn to listen free of judgment and blame.  Get on the same page and learn how to create a new, conscious loving foundation.

You will not be slogging through the old issues.  All that does is stir up the old trouble again.  You have already done enough of that! The way I work is to start from the moment we begin. Troubled couples focus forward.  The old stuff gets addressed by learning new skills, and then glancing backward. You begin to see what you were actually up to.  Each partner learns how to take ownership and responsibility for his or her part in the issues. Recognizing your triggers, manipulations, blame, and sabotage, and what to do to shift these behaviors is key!

 

Stop procrastinating! Rebuild and rekindle, starting today.   And you don’t have to live in Seattle to work with me.  I see couples virtually.

Contact me today at morgan@breakfreetherapy.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Morgan SontagCouples Trouble? Stop Blame!
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Learn Powerful Skills to Communicate and Listen Effectively!

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Stop waiting to communicate! Those relationship issues you swept under the carpet are not going away. Are you hoping he or she will change?  You cannot wish and hope or yell and harangue and expect change. There is a lot more happening when negative habits emerge and take root in a relationship.  No amount of nagging, pleading, and crying or threatening can make change happen.  There are the habits, perceptions, beliefs and feelings running through the mind and the body which impede change.  The mind-body connection has to be included. Learning new information, developing fresh perspectives, and practicing powerful skills leads to clear, effective, and loving communication. To learn how to create permanent change requires support, learning, and guidance.  Take action to regain closeness and harmony.

Don’t slog through another summer with this undercurrent of anger and bitterness. Stop pretending to get-along in social situations.  Learn how to communicate and listen in a way that works.

You don’t have to live in Seattle to work with me! I do virtual work with people all over the world.  And if you do live in Seattle and particularly West Seattle, come meet me for a complimentary free session through June 15th.  Mention my website to schedule your session.  Mail me to inquire and schedule at morgan@breakfreetherapy.com .

Morgan SontagLearn Powerful Skills to Communicate and Listen Effectively!
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Rise up! No matter what.

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“In the midst of the madness of our world, hearts are breaking open, people are blossoming, and the golden soul of humanity is rising up.  Never doubt it for an instant. Seek it out and nurture it. ” Rivera Sun

Remember that your thought-forms are vibrating your perception energetically out into the world. Every single day as you take action, read or choose not to read, or fall into a heap and think the thoughts that you do, you are sending out millions of energetic impulses that determine and reinforce your experience.  Inspired thought or mediocre or negative creates your context which determines your perception.  You must not give into, and get wrapped up in the sludge, the dark, the hideous, the fear. Rise up and out!

Look at the momentum in the world that is making a difference!  Look at the potential of a new paradigm. We are not going back to sleep! We must use our thoughts, feelings and imagination to empower one and another to keep rising, keep going, keep intending a future reality, not touched by this limited, current time and space.   Where are we headed? Imagine it! Move toward it.

Change is happening! Don’t doubt it.

Morgan SontagRise up! No matter what.
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Finding your Voice!

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lovingme
     It has taken me awhile to wade through all my emotions lately and speak out.  I have held the space for much pain this week. Grief and fear has been up big-time for many people, silenced, shocked, traumatized, immobilized.
     It struck me that what is required or important right now is the courage and strength, each in our own time,  to stand out and speak up.  But the ability to do that stems from self-love, self-respect, self-honor, and self-value. And frankly that has can take decades to develop. To claim your true voice and take a stand for yourself and others is no small feat.
     Learning to love yourself, and discover your authentic voice is a bold, painful process.  It is facing all of the times you were mistreated and all of the times you allowed it. Looking at the proof you gathered as evidence for your lack of value is part of the journey.  Facing your anger at yourself and others, and realizing all of the time you spent avoiding it is difficult.   Acknowledging how you abandoned yourself over and over takes courage. You realize that you built walls based on distortions to protect and avoid your unloved self.  And you recognize the false, mental voices which defend, excuse, and argue for your limitations, or which lash-out, deflect, and snarl under pressure.  Looking back at your life you see how you perpetuated your lack of worth, where you settled and sold out, and it hurts.
     Step-by-step, you learn how  to de-construct the false illusions, false-selves and personas, the versions of stories told to you and that you told yourself.  You learn to set new boundaries and let go of old thoughts, situations, people.  Eventually, the burden (and yes, it is weighty) from awakening dissipates,  and the fully self-expressed no-holds-barred, YOU emerges.  No apologies, no hiding, no shame. You break free of the unworthy, unlovable you, and speak up!
     It is a good thing to take your time.
     And, the world needs to hear you.
Morgan SontagFinding your Voice!
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S.O.S.? No, my cape is long gone.

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I want to update you on Vinnie as it has been awhile.  Vinnie has had a number of learning-the-hard-way experiences.  His default or unconscious programming runs the show often as it would, since he is just learning to recognize repeating patterns.  He has had some rough situations.  His phone was stolen at knife point, his 2 week old lap-top stolen from his house by a former friend, and miscellaneous other losses and hardships.  Vinnie has made some unwise choices depleting his own resources.  Last night, he went to bed hungry.  It has been quite a long time since that was his situation.

I am careful to not rescue or hero.  Rescuing does nothing but perpetuate the problems.   The relief it brings is fragile and temporary.   The Hero is insidious, seductive, and rather slick. The Hero wins kudos from passersby who view the self-sacrifice as noble.  Heroing is reinforced and condoned in our society.  The Hero assumes that I know what is better or best for you. It includes the qualities of people-pleasing and codependency.   You can lose your own life in rescues clouded by good intentions to save folks from their consequences.  Nope.  It would not serve him while depleting me.

Vinnie is getting free coaching when he shows up for it. I am fine with that.  He’s smart and lovable…and young! He has a lot to learn and to pluck him out of his path to “save” his life is unwise, self-righteous, and a temporary fix.   Vinnie now knows that his results are based on his own choices.  He gets that he is not a victim and is perpetuating old patterns.  He is often able to rise with optimism after he has had a challenge.  I have given him pathways, support, love and a hand-up financially and what he does with that is up to him.

There is no room for the Hero in relationships which grow and evolve. Trust me.

I have no cape in my closet to fly to S. Africa.  Whether or not I go to visit, depends on Vinnie’s growth, not my rescuing him from his life.

Have a great Summer!

Morgan SontagS.O.S.? No, my cape is long gone.
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